Category Archives: Recipes

Recipe: Betsy’s Touch of Grace Biscuits (with some variations)

I’m sorry to say, despite my best efforts to convey every detail and trick to concocting these absolutely perfect, rich, buttery, fluffy, moist biscuits, they will not taste as good as when Betsy makes them. Nor could I tell you specifically why they are better when she makes them. It could simply be years of experience throwing them together for every conceivable potluck, or because whenever she whipped up a batch for me I ended up needing them desperately due to driving my car off the road in the snow or getting my period on a class camping field trip. However, I sincerely believe it’s because she’s from Georgia and is the kind of person whom I’m convinced who’s insides are just made up of ripe peaches, spicy bourbon and crushed magnolia flowers.
Continue reading Recipe: Betsy’s Touch of Grace Biscuits (with some variations)

Thug Kitchen’s RCB Burrito (shameless content ripoff)

I’m sure you’ve heard of Thug Kitchen right? I mean, the home of hilarity such as:

Or…

Anyways, shockingly to me it turns out it’s actually a food blog as well as site of such helpful dick-cancer avoiding tips. So I gave it’s RCB Burrito recipe a try, and holy mother of fuck. Let me tell you, I haven’t liked anything I’ve made in 3 months and as soon as I popped this in the oven I was in ecstasy. Then I ate it and I can report with absolute certainty that I “grubbed like a fucking champ”. You can click the link for the original recipe, but I changed mine a bit to adjust for things like not liking quite so many chickpeas, cauliflower instead of brocolli, spices, and more burrito (I nearly doubled the original recipe).

THUG KITCHEN BURRITO

(makes about 8-10 burritos)

Filling:

1.5 cups of cooked chickpeas  (1-15 ounce cans, drained)

1.5 large yellow onions

2 red or yellow bell peppers

1 large crown of cauliflower

6-8 cloves of garlic

2 lime

Spice Blend:

1/3 c. olive oil

1/4 c. Tamari (or other soy sauce-like thing)

1 tbsp. chili powder

2.5 teaspoon ground cumin

2.5 teaspoon smoked paprika

1 teaspoon ground coriander (or more cumin)

Heavy pinch black pepper and cayenne pepper to taste

Other Fillings (optional):

Ripe avocados

arugula

sour cream + salsa + sriracha to taste

whole wheat + corn tortillas (your preference)

cilantro, chopped

Heat the oven to 430 degrees. Chop up the onion, bell pepper, and cauliflower to about thumbnail size or a little larger. Finely chop garlic, but save it for later. Place all the chopped up veggies in a large bowl with the cooked chickpeas. Mix the spice blend all together (I whisked mine together), and pour over the veggies then mix until everything is coated.

Put all of that on two large rimmed baking sheets (you could possibly fit it on one, but I liked giving the veggies room to roast properly) greased with coconut oil if you have it and bake for 20 minutes. Then take it out, add garlic, mix and put it back in for another 15-20 minutes, keep a close eye at the end so you don’t end up with charred, rock hard chickpeas, everything else is meant to burn a bit. Squeeze the juice of a lime and a half over the pan and stir the roasted chickpeas and veggies. Squeeze the remaining half of lime with a pinch of salt over your sliced avocado right before constructing your burrito. Heat up tortillas lightly in the residual oven heat, then throw burrito together. Grub like a champ.

THROWBACK THURSDAY UP IN THIS BITCH. I was saving this recipe for my upcoming cookbook but you guys said FUCK THAT. So here is the most requested recipe, The Thug Kitchen RCB Burrito.</p><p>ROASTED CHICKPEA &amp; BROCCOLI BURRITO</p><p>3 cups of cooked chickpeas  (2-15 ounce cans, drained)</p><p>1 large yellow onion</p><p>1 red bell pepper</p><p>1 large crown of broccoli</p><p>4 cloves of garlic</p><p>1 lime</p><p>Spice Blend:</p><p>3 tablespoons olive oil</p><p>1-2 tablespoons soy sauce, tamari, or Bragg’s Liquid Aminos (You can usually find this old school hippie shit near the vinegars or soy sauces in the healthy eating section of most big grocery stores and on the internet)</p><p>2 teaspoons chili powder</p><p>1 teaspoon ground cumin</p><p>1 teaspoon smoked paprika</p><p>1/2 teaspoon ground coriander or more cumin if you don’t want to go to the store</p><p>black pepper or cayenne pepper to taste</p><p>Heat the oven to 425 degrees. Chop up the onion, bell pepper, and broccoli so that all the pieces about the size of a chickpea. Chop up the garlic real small but save that shit until later. Place all the chopped up veggies in a large bowl with the cooked chickpeas. Pour in the oil and soy sauce, stir, and then throw all the spices in there. Mix until all the vegetables and shit are covered. </p><p>Put all of that on a large rimmed baking sheet (like what you would put cookies on but with an edge) and bake for 20 minutes. Take it out of the oven, don’t fucking burn yourself, add the garlic, and bake for another 15 minutes. The broccoli will look a little burnt at this point but that is the plan so chill the fuck out and take it out of the oven. Squeeze the juice of half of the lime over the pan and stir the roasted chickpeas and veggies all around. Taste some and see if it needs more spices or anything. Now make a fucking burrito. I like mine with spinach, avocado, cilantro, and some fire roasted salsa but you do your thing.</p><p>makes 6-8 burritos